5 positive impacts from using the Marriage Journal

It started with the chicken fight. Yes, a chicken fight. During our first year of marriage, our first argument was fighting over who can cook chicken better. It was an argument full of criticism. It was also the kind of argument where other random things were brought up by both of us. Now, we laugh about it and roll our eyes. Read to the end to find out our agreement on who really cooks chicken better. Although, If you were standing by us in that moment, it would be clear as day that we were not communicating well to each other.

As our second year of marriage started, we were experiencing a lot of joys, but our communication towards each other was lacking. This lack of communication led to more criticizing arguments. It was evident at this point that we needed to change something. As I was scrolling Instagram in the fall of our second year of marriage, I learned about @beating50percent, a marriage ministry started by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff. God has been using this couple to do great things! After clicking on their website, I read about a marriage journal and I was immediately hooked by its description leading us to purchase it. Upon using the marriage journal for the first time, we quickly noticed the positive impact it made towards our communication habits and conflict resolution.

Here are 5 positive impacts that we have experienced from using this marriage journal.

• It gives us an uninterrupted weekly time frame to gather at the kitchen table to hear each other’s thoughts, worries, desires, and more. Through this time, we have grown in our vulnerability.
• The calendar has guided our priorities and helped us agree and healthily disagree on what we need to do during the week.
• The devotions keep us focused on Jesus, the author of our love story.
• It helps bring resolution to conflicts. One of the questions focuses in on conflict. This helps both of us lay conflicts at the feet of Jesus, apologize to each other, and seek forgiveness.
• The completion of it serves as a reminder of things we discussed and prioritized. After writing in it, we leave it in the kitchen area for us to go back to during the week in case either of us forget something.

As we surpass 4 ½ years of marriage, we are grateful for God working through this marriage journal to mend our wounds, water us with His forgiveness, and repeatedly nourish our communication with each other. These thoughts take me back to our first pre-marital counseling session. In the first session, our pastor explained to us that: “the glue of marriage is apologizing and forgiving.” Ever since, these words have stuck like glue to us. As we say the words “I forgive you” after apologizing, we become stronger as a couple because Jesus passionately exists within these words.

We learn how to forgive through the examples of Jesus.

• As He teaches the Lord’s prayer on a mountainside to his disciples
  [Mt 6:5-14]
• As He forgives a woman at the well caught in adultery
  [John 8:3-11]
• As He teaches the parable of the lost son
  [Luke 15:11-32]
• As He is being crucified on the cross, He is crying out a prayer asking for forgiveness to all those that are blaspheming Him moments up to His death
  [Luke 23:34]
• Actively and daily in our lives as we too call out in prayer for forgiveness

Even to the point of death, to the same men who were beating and mocking him, Jesus cries out to His Father to ask Him to forgive them. On the cross, He ultimately paid the price for all our sins, so whoever believes will have eternal life in Heaven.

Now this is grace.

Dating couples. Engaged couples. Married couples. Whether you are having a chicken fight, a drumstick fight, or a disagreement on the way the toilet paper should be placed, remember this: Jesus calls us to healthily communicate, apologize, and forgive one another as He forgives us.

.........................................................................

In honor of my first blog post and sharing the marriage journal, a wonderful tool created by Audrey and Jeremy Roloff, I have a discount code for you to use on the marriage journal AND I am gifting away one Marriage journal over on my Instagram to one lucky couple.

The discount code is: FRAZIER10

Now to circle back to the chicken fight. Who cooks the chicken better? Bennett. He is the master of cooking chicken. (: